Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
