then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
