you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
