Im at strip club and am horny
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
