my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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