i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
