how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
