yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
