nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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