i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
