dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
