I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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