they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
