Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
