im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
