i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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