Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize