ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
