just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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