just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
