Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
