I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
