should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
YAS. BRING CRAB.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
