Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
