He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
