so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
