For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Bring me that man meat
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
