You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
