i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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