jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
