I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think people are normalizing furries
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
