Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
