new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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