My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
