wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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