dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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