this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
