Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
