I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
