we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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