i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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