A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
