I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
they need to just BURY HIM!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
