when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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