Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize