No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
