he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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