I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
