you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
