Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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