its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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