Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
