i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
