you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
