Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
