I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
