I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
