Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
