do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
