it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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