I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
