She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
