Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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