Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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