Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Congratulations! We have a period
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
