Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize