Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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