Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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