Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I cockslap morals
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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