He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
