sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize